11/13/2016

得來不易的一張紙 - 小緯兔的碩士回憶錄 One piece of paper - Memoir of LMU from rabbit Wei

就在上禮拜,小緯兔終於拿到了這張得來不易的慕尼黑大學碩士學位證書……
為什麼說它得來不易呢?可不是因為小緯兔不用功、成績不好喔!
藉這個機會,也讓小緯兔回憶起這三年碩士生涯的點點滴滴。

Last week, rabbit Wei finally got his Master degree from LMU...
Taking it as a chance, it reminds me also all the details in these three years.

2013年9月底小緯兔拖著兩箱行李來到了下著雨的慕尼黑。
當初八月底幸運地以新生的身份抽到了小平房,但是因為人還不在德國,還無法辦理居民登記,也無法提供銀行帳號,差點被學生會取消獲獎資格!小緯兔急著寫了好幾封電郵給學生會,終於打動了行政阿姨……
「那你在到達德國的當天,就要立刻去辦登記,然後馬上去辦銀行帳號後馬上傳給我喔!」

The end of Sep., 2013, rabbit Wei dragged two suitcases, arriving in the raining Munich.
I luckily won the lottery for a room by student dormitory; however, I wasn't in Munich yet in August; therefore, I couldn't register myself to the city hall and provide my bank account! Rabbit tried to send couple of emails to Studentenwerk, and somebody finally answered me...
"Well, then you have to register yourself on the day you'll arrive and give me your bank account immediately, ok?"

幾天之後,小緯兔來到了慕尼黑大學,辦理註冊……
「你這裡少了一份文件喔!」
這一句話嚇死初來乍到的小緯兔,之後整整兩天東奔西跑,最後終於在秘書處拿了一張證實他們參閱過在台學歷的A4紙張……
10月1日當天,領到了不像學生證的學生證(因為又薄又脆弱,簡直像一張廢紙…… 就連德國本地學生都吵著要一張電子卡吵了好久……),配上之後加簽加選與成績登入的廢紙一大疊,德國提倡的節能減碳做環保其實根本就是笑話一則……

Few days later, rabbit Wei came to LMU for enrollment...
"There's a document missing!"
This sentence was frightening me to death, two days after I ran through the whole campus and finally got a certification from the secretary to verify that they have checked the papers from Taiwan...
On 1st. Oct., I received my student ID, which looks like a recycling piece of paper... (even local students have asked for years for an electronic card...) Plus later all of these paper form of scores and notes, it's obviously a joke if you believe that Germany's doing its best for our environment...

開學的第一個禮拜,除了領取新生贈品、到處試聽課程之外,也認識了熱心助人的學姐Iris與美國同窗Jenny,沒有她們兩位的幫助,小緯兔的碩士生涯可能會更加困難吧?!
由於本來申請的德文文學課程太過枯燥,小緯兔下定決心第二學期轉至日耳曼語言學,也因此第一學期就積極地修語言學的課程(半堂文學課都沒選)。
講到這裡,小緯兔也對國際學生事務處辦事人員的態度相當不以為意…… 效率低下之外,還有那副幾近臭酸的嘴臉,更別說當著小緯兔的面前,拐彎抹角地數落德文不好想轉系的亞洲女學生。姑且不論待人處世的基本道理,頂著「國際學生服務處」的名字,這樣的態度絕對是違背了納稅人聘請你來工作的初衷吧?!

The first week by LMU, except of getting gifts for new students and trying to attend all the classes, I also got to know Iris and Jenny, who helped me a lot during these years.
Since the lessons of german literature were so boring that I decided to change to german linguistic.
However, rabbit does despite the attitude of International Office in LMU... Not even to mention their efficiency, they kept showing despising faces and even scored another student, who didn't speak German well, who also wanted to change her subject. Let's not discuss if you do know how to treat another human being rightly, just because of the name "International Office for foreign students" I don't believe that you're paid to act this way!

老實說,德國大學的電腦現代化是個笑話,前兩個學期小緯兔的成績還必須請教授親簽一張小紙,由學生親自送到秘書處蓋章認證後,再由秘書處轉交給考試部做電腦登入,這一轉就是兩三個月…… (我知道以台灣學生的角度來看,這真的是不可置信的鬼故事……)何況,學校行政人員有著比公務人員更優的上班時間,導致小緯兔不翹課就辦不好事……!
從第一學期的生物語言學、第二學期的歷史語言學、第三學期的方言學、第四學期的電腦語言學、第五學期的研修課程,到最後的論文階段,這其中小緯兔上過許多教授的課、認識了許多不同領域的同窗好友,即使連德國本地人都戲稱語言系所是「失業」系所,我仍然相信這三年來的所學與努力,從來都不是泡影,因為我得以認識到別人所忽略的另一個角落。

In fact, modernization in German universities is also a ridiculous joke. In the first two semesters, rabbit Wei had even to ask professors to sign a small note for his notes, then sent it to secretary for a stamp, and then they would send it to the department of exams. And it means two or three months... (I know it sounds like an unbelievable, horror story for taiwanese students.) Moreover, the administrators in the university do even have a better working hours than public servants, so rabbit Wei even had to skip the classes, just to get it all done...!
From biolinguistic to historical linguistic, dialectology to computer linguistic, oberseminars to master thesis, in these years rabbit Wei had visited many classes, known many different colleagues. Even though many people call it an "unemployed" department, I do still believe that these years did mean something, since I got to know another corner of the world, which other people neglected.

求學過程自然並非一路輕輕鬆鬆,小緯兔的論文題目必須要做實地考察,拖著小小的行李箱,我來到了北義大利的深山僻野裡度過了一段時間。
「一位會說德文與義大利文的亞洲人來研究北義的南德方言?!」旅館老闆一家人不可置信地聽著我的計畫。想當初第二學期時與指導教授及一班同學來過這裡一個禮拜,也可以算是替碩士論文訂下了基礎了。一個月的研究、兩個月的苦讀撰寫、一個月的反覆修訂,終於在七月初烤出了熱烘烘的碩士論文!

Of course, it wasn't always easy in these three whole years, because of my master thesis I had to stay in the mountain of North Italy for weeks.
"An asian, who can speak German and Italian, wants to research a southern german dialect in North Italy?" The chef of the hotel couldn't believe his own ears.
One month of research, two months of reading and writing, one month of revision, and finally, at the begin of July I was able to hand over my master thesis!

這時可能有人問:
「那你怎麼現在才拿到證書呢?」
孩子們,以台灣的行政效率來看待德國,是會令人吐血的……
在德國,你不但很難約到教授面談時間,更是得常常被當作人肉球踢來踢去!
(想當初政大發送畢業證書效率之高,更別提那日程早早就定好了!)
以下是小緯兔的親身體驗:
七月初交上論文後,等到八月底教授度假回來才開始審查;
九月初審查完後,小緯兔拿到了教授的評審成績,但是考試部堅持要收到教授的親筆信函;
九月中考試部總算收到指導教授的親簽函後,小緯兔天真地以為,長久的等待終於結束了!
殊不知,另一個W教授忽然丟下一群人的成績後不見人影!
小緯兔本人除了寫了將近十封的電子郵件沒有回應之外,還試圖打電話聯絡,仍然石沈大海…… 秘書處、考試部、學生自治會也嘗試聯絡這位教授,但是全都不了了之……
九月底小緯兔抱著姑且一試的心態,去了W教授暑假期間的最後一次面談時間,先不說一堆人都反映教授不回電郵,研究室前站了十幾個人等待教授出現,小緯兔等了將近九十分鐘後才進到辦公室,而教授卻是一副我事情很多急不來的態度,好像什麼事都沒有發生過!您可知道,因為這份成績,小緯兔差點無法換簽、變成非法居留嗎?!即便考試部規定的繳交成績期限是八月底,教授的權力在德國似乎被無限放大,一句「事情很多」,大學方面也不敢對教授怎樣……

Now, you might ask:
"Then, how come you just got your certification just now?"
My dear, dear, dear child, you will definitely get sick, once you compare the german efficiency to Taiwan...
In Germany, it's hard to get an appointment with your professors, not even mention that you might be kicked to West, then to East... (I still remember that by NCCU it's fast like a lightning...)
Here's my personal experience:
At the begin of July, I handed over my master thesis to the department of exam; however, it would only be revised by professors, once he came back from his vacation on the end of August;
At the begin of Sep., the revision was finally finished, I already got the note from my professor, but the department of exam insisted that they had to wait the note via post, since they cannot be sure if the note, which my professor handed to me, was real;
In the mid of Sep, they finally got it via post, rabbit Wei, naively, thought it was the end of waiting!
HOWEVER, another professor W just left all the notes of all students and disappeared!
Rabbit Wei personally wrote more than ten Emails and had tried to make phone calls, trying to reach her... The secretary, the department of exam and student committee all tried to contact her, all in vain...
In the end of Sep. I took another chance to attend her last counseling time in her office. In front of her office there were many students waiting, complaining why she has never answered one single mail. After 90 minutes, I finally got to meet her; however, she just showed that she had too much work and couldn't be hurried! Do you know, I almost became an illegal resident here in Germany because of you?! The dead line for you to send all the notes to the department of exam was the end of August! Anyway, the power of professors in Germany is exactly exaggerated too far, after all, the university didn't dare to do a thing on professors...

打了這麼多,在拿到這張紙的同時,也意味著這三年告一段落了。
告別了書本與圖書館、迎接小緯兔的是電腦螢幕與行政作業。
這三年來,除了感謝在小緯兔初來乍到時伸出援手的同窗Iris與Jenny之外,
還要謝謝R指導教授的提拔以及Julia, Stefan與Markus的文稿訂正,
最後要謝謝給我經濟上支柱的父母,以及精神上呵護的阿旭獅!
沒有你們大家,可能小緯兔現在還在念?!(其實超過三年也畢不了業了……)
等下課的生涯再見!
等下班的日常你好…… (苦笑)

圖片來源:自行攝影

Huuuuu, typing all of these, by getting this piece of paper it also means that these three years had officially been ended. Saying good-bye to books and libraries, computer screen and administrating works are waiting for rabbit Wei.
In these years, except of thanks to Iris and Jenny for their helps, thanks to professor R for his recognition, and thanks to Julia, Stefan and Markus for their revision of my papers, I specially need to thank my parents for their financial support and my lion Xu for his spiritual support with dearest love! Without you, rabbit Wei could still be studying?! (Na, after three years, you can't get the degree anyway...)
Good-bye, life of waiting for coming off lessons!
Hello, life of waiting for getting off work... (laugh)

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