德國不可忍之一 - 德國郵政 German Unendurable I - Deutsche Post

上幾週連續更新了阿旭獅和小緯兔的台灣之旅前半部分，
但是，這一週小緯兔打算再插撥一下其他內容，並且打算之後稱這一系列的文章為：
「德國不可忍」

In the last few weeks parts of taiwanese journey were updated,
but this week, rabbit Wei would like to write about something else again and decided to name this series of articles: "German Unendurable"

從小在台灣長大的小緯兔，在德國究竟有哪些無法忍受的鳥事在等著他呢？！
今天就先來介紹一下，德國不可忍之一 - 德國郵政！

What kinds of shxxs have occurred to rabbit Wei, who was born and raised in Taiwan?!
Today, let me introduce you one of the unendurables - Deutsche Post!

Deutsche Post，中文又稱德國郵政，相信長住過德國的人對它一定不陌生。
就連偶爾造訪的觀光客，也有可能因為要寄明信片而和它打過交道......
然而多數台灣人對德國的刻板印象，如準時、高效率、服務態度好等等，跟它根本絲毫扯不上邊！

Deutsche Post, I believe that most of people who have ever stayed in Germany know it very well.
Even tourists need to handle with them because of postcards...
However, Deutsche Post has nothing to do with german stereotypes from taiwanese opinion, such as being on time, high efficiency and good service etc.!

以下就讓小緯兔來列舉幾項與台灣截然不同的「不思議」吧！

Let's take a look!

[午休三小時]

[Noon break for three hours]

沒錯！這種可能在古早台灣、窮鄉僻壤，或是南歐熾熱豔陽下才應該出現的午覺時間，就這樣活生生地存活在德國南部大城、高緯度的慕尼黑，甚至是地處觀光客聚集地的奧林匹克公園分部也不例外！小緯兔不是常常看到老公公老婆婆在快接近午休十二點時，推著輔行車急著要去寄信，就是下午兩點五十幾分，郵局外面大排長龍...... 單就服務品質和效率來說，台灣普遍的中午輪休制度，其實是相當便民的。畢竟，一般上班族能夠跑郵局的時間，也只有午休啊！

That's right! This kind of stuff, which should only happen in ancient Taiwan, old country side or under southern Italian burning heat, still occurs in Munich, which actually locates in long latitude. There's even no difference next to Olympia Park, where a lot of tourists visit! Rabbit Wei always sees old ladies rushing with wheel chairs to the post office, in order to send their packages before noon, or even worse, a long long queue at 2:50 in front of the main gate... Comparing to the quality of service and efficiency of Taiwan Post, I believe our taking-turn noon break policy is much better. After all, the most of office workers can also only go to post office in their noon breaks!

[等機器修好有如八年抗戰]
[You won't get that repair done without years]

別再說台北修路修個老半天了！來看看德國吧！光是奧林選手村的一座樓梯就蓋了將近三年！之前波昂附近的馬路修了五年還在修！義大利更是慘，羅馬哪條路不是隨便圍起來然後修個十年？台北人要慶幸，我們的一條捷運線不需要蓋十五年以上！

基於德國郵政的櫃檯人員處理效率極低，通常郵局外設有販售郵票的機器，除了找錢只會找你郵票的白痴設計外，動不動就壞給你看！小緯兔每每上課經過，就看到一個斗大的「故障中」出現在螢幕上，一個禮拜過去了，還是「故障中」！意思就是，你還是乖乖地等午休完去排隊吧！

Stop saying that it takes always too much time to get taiwanese roads repaired! Come and see Germany! Even just a stair next to the student dormitory in Olydorf took almost three years! A main road next to Bonn has taken more than five years! And how about Italy? Less than ten years is normality! We should be happy about it that we don't need to wait for 15 years to get a new underground line in Taipei!
Because of the low efficiency of Deutsche Post, they do set up an automatic machine to sell stamps, except of a lousy design, which allows you only get stamps instead of money back, it's always broken! Every time I pass by, it shows "defect" on the screen, days after days, it's still there! That means: "We don't care how long it takes, just get in the queue after our noon break!"

[世界上最糟糕的投遞員與客服]
[The worst postman and custom service]

姑且不論海角七號裡范逸臣飾演的郵差究竟是真是假，至少我們在台灣還能得到主管的一句道歉！因為兔爸一輩子在台灣郵政服務，從郵務士到稽查，從小到大，小緯兔就看得出兔爸服務的認真與負責，也因此對於德國郵政的投遞服務實在是接近到了打算「玉石俱焚」的地步！

（怒）曾經一整天待在家裡等包裹的小緯兔，一直等到下午五點上網一查，竟然出現「無人在家，無法投遞」的字樣，郵箱中連個招領單也沒有！

（怒怒）又曾經，鄰居回到家中，發現門上貼了招領單，仔細一看，上面竟然寫著「在陽台」！有人會因為家裡沒人應門就把包裹丟上陽台？！

（怒怒怒）兔媽寄給小緯兔的包裹，上面都清清楚楚地寫上聯絡資訊與詳細地址，每筆每劃都會再確認一次；然而，某天早上得到的消息是：「找不到地址，無法投遞，送回原寄國」！小緯兔很想把兔媽填寫的寄送單用海報紙印出來，貼在投遞員的臉上，質問他，到底哪一筆哪一劃他看不懂？！留了三年的收件人電話，一次也沒看過你們打過！那這一欄當初設計的時候是當作笑話嗎？！

（怒怒怒怒）隔了幾天等待，小緯兔打去客服詢問，就只得到了一句：「包裹被送回中央處理局，看他們怎麼處理，我們這裡什麼也不能做」，還急著掛我電話邊說：「林先生，這樣可以嗎？林先生，這樣可以嗎？」聽了就是一肚子火，當然不行啊！

Without discussing if the character in Cape No. 7 is real or not, at least we are able to get an apologize from the manager of the post office in Taiwan! Because rabbit's dad has worked in post office for his entire life, so rabbit does know what means a real and right quality of post service.
(Unbearable 1) Rabbit Wei once stayed at home for all day and waited for a package. Until 5 PM, it showed just online "No one's at home, so it couldn't be delivered"! There was even no note in my mailbox!
(Unbearable 2) One of rabbit's neighbors once got a note on his door, "On the balcony". Seriously? Is that really the right thing to do to throw customer's package to their balconies just because they weren't at home?
(Unbearable 3) One day, rabbit's mom told rabbit to check a package, which was sent from Taiwan a week ago. However, the website showed "unrecognized Adress, couldn't be delivered, sent back to Taiwan" I really want to print the send note on a poster and throw it to the postman's face, and ask, which part of this note couldn't you understand? I have lived here for almost three years and my parents always filled all the private information on that note, including cell number, which you guys have never called! Is that a joke or just an useless design on your DHL notes?
(Unbearable 4) And then, I called custom service immediately. What I got is: "It was sent back to the central station, I can't do anything." He was even trying to hang on as soon as possible and kept saying, "Is that ok, Mr. Lin? Is that ok, Mr. Lin?" Have you lost your mind?! Of course it's not OK!

總歸一句，德國郵政的腐敗沒效率，已經近乎到了上下勾結的地步！每個層級、每個員工就只會撇開責任，讓客戶白白繳了錢又得不到應有的服務！偏偏許多德國民眾又把這種日常生活中的小事，用自以為看破紅塵的心理帶過，如果你們連一個差到極點的大眾服務都沒辦法適時地表達你們的不滿與訴求，那你們也不需要去罷工要求更多社會福利了，比起還需要營利來支撐的公司行號，政府更是不鳥我們這些底層螞蟻吧？

Anyway, the zero efficiency and corruption of Deutsche Post are already in every level of the company. Every employee would only tell you that they aren't responsible and throw your problems back and take your money away! I keep wonder, if german people cannot even handle and protest this kind of "small" issue, how can you actually be possible to believe that you will actually get something once you walk on the streets and ask Government for more salaries? Comparing to Deutsche Post, which still needs its own profits to run, the Government would probably care less about us down here.